tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-140972002012-01-09T03:53:15.574-05:00My emotional life.Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.comBlogger291100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-63219440158191340382007-06-30T11:09:00.000-04:002007-06-30T10:35:09.084-04:00

Dear Yahoo! Photos user, For some time now, we've supported two great photo sharing services: Yahoo! Photos and Flickr. But even good things come to an end, and we've decided to close Yahoo! Photos to focus all our efforts on Flickr — the award-winning photo sharing community that TIME Magazine has called "completely addictive." We will officially close Yahoo! Photos on

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1160014110545829672006-10-04T22:03:00.000-04:002006-10-04T22:08:30.563-04:00

Back to being sad! Haha the bitter irony of it all...Well, things didn't work out with John. We ultimately decided on a casual relationship, taking things day-by-day. Of course, this led to insecurity on my part, and guilt on his.He brought up on the weekend how we're more like friends than boyfriend-girlfriend, and how he could see us being really good friends. I sat and cried. I knew right from

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1157875955760289642006-09-10T04:07:00.000-04:002006-09-10T04:12:44.253-04:00

One year of being lonely. Not always sad, but almost always lonely.So here's an update: I visited John and we agreed on a relationship. He seems a lot more mature than before.We have been able to see each other a little bit since we've been together, unfortunately there is a few hours between us (by car!).I still feel lonely, and very insecure in this relationship. Maybe because M cheated on me?

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1155002154424774122006-08-07T21:46:00.000-04:002006-08-07T21:55:54.446-04:00

I have been meaning to update this journal. It's not that I've been *gasp!* too happy or anything, but mostly busy and apathetic.What happened with that guy? Let's call him John. We had a torrid yet quick relationship, due to the amount of time we had together. He has left, he may be back. I knew that all along, but wasn't sure what to do about it. We slept together. We had a lot of fun together.

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1145671471552533232006-04-21T21:57:00.000-04:002006-04-21T22:04:31.566-04:00

A few weeks ago a friend confided that he liked me. This is not something new (a lot of friends have recently been doing that), however this friend and I have a sort of chemistry. We flirt a lot and enjoy each other's company, and it doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous.The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. The more I hang out with him (coffees, lunches, and other random encounters -

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1144089771984649122006-04-03T14:33:00.000-04:002006-04-03T14:42:52.003-04:00

So I had an interesting weekend. Getting back to my wild self, I don't know why.I mostly think because last year at this time I was starting out with M., and now that it's April, I feel the painful memories in the flowers blooming and the smell of the springtime air.I don't know if I'm kidding myself, or lying to myself about being over him, but maybe I'm not over him yet.Moving on, I went out

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1142571414780779942006-03-16T23:47:00.000-05:002006-03-29T21:51:22.600-05:00

Sometimes I forget I have this blog. It's my little side-project. Although my blog has retired, I do keep another sort of on-line journal.But in reality, things are really good. I can't complain about things as I would like to, because I've been very lucky to have some life goals realized in the past couple weeks.M and are are not friends. I have been blocked and deleted by him. I rarely go

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1139955016010914512006-02-14T17:03:00.000-05:002006-02-14T17:10:16.050-05:00

Am I sick if I send emails out to ex-boyfriends on Valentine's day?The purpose was to say hello and wish them the very best, and to let them know that I'm thinking about them today.M recieved one as well.Tough day. I think a lot of people are sad today. I'm a little bit sad today, although I'm happy overall. I'm learning a lot these days, getting past the resentment and bitterness and learning to

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1139515709422913122006-02-09T15:02:00.000-05:002006-02-09T15:08:29.483-05:00

I think I like to intentionally hurt myself.Once again M came over, I hadn't seen him in about 3 months.His ex specifically told me to watch out for him.We hung out, he stayed for the weekend, but I wasn't happy with it. I'm very glad I have other friends to help me through this shit.It's over. It really is. No more M. No more sex, no more hanging out. We are no longer friends. I did the breaking

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1137346902555426592006-01-15T12:24:00.000-05:002006-01-15T12:41:42.640-05:00

Sorry I have not been posting very much. I think I needed to be alone and battle my demons.In October M came over once more. It was unsatisfying sex (although I did orgasm - twice). While we were drinking, he was asking me all these questions about love.I always knew that a "friends with benefits" relationship could not work out. I knew someone was going to get hurt, or not be ok with the idea.It

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1129510961901285922005-10-16T20:51:00.000-04:002005-10-16T21:02:41.906-04:00

I knew it was going to happen eventually.M thought that I was just teasing him and that it wouldn't actually happen. But it did. And I'm happy about it.My friend even told me minutes before he was coming over to drink, "Julie, this is a bad plan" and I sort of believed her. But when he came and we drank and chatted and went out and came home and had sex, it turned out to be a great plan to tell

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1128685712361873022005-10-07T07:43:00.000-04:002005-10-07T07:48:32.366-04:00

So as I had mentioned, M and I have been talking on MSN.We have talked about why we broke up (apparently I'm too immature and I can have a bad attitude, and he couldn't "give me what I needed"). Whatever. We also have lots of dirty-talk and contemplate being 'friends with benefits'. The idea is appealing, I'm not sure to tell you the truth what will happen. A few things could happen:1. We stay

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1126842122046495052005-09-15T23:33:00.000-04:002005-09-15T23:42:02.050-04:00

Nowadays I feel so lonely. Sometimes I just want to go out myself and get drunk and find comfort in the arms of someone out there who feels the same way.Unfortunately, I know from experience that this isn't the best thing to do. Next thing you know he lives next door to you and works in your building and you see him everyday! That's not my story, but it's close.Even though I have family and

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1126579064956987712005-09-12T22:15:00.000-04:002005-09-12T22:37:45.016-04:00

So he might be coming to visit.I've matured a lot recently to tell you the truth. I am older and I understand the intricacies of the world. Sort of.I am at peace with myself. With my body as well. I don't know if I mentioned that I have been battling an eating disorder since I was 13 (and I'm 20-something now). It's been a long time. I thought it was something that never goes away, but maybe

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1125931997047270282005-09-05T10:45:00.000-04:002005-09-05T10:53:17.053-04:00

Well, it's been quite a long time since I updated. I've been really busy with my "real life", which includes work, school, family, friends, and other obligations of course.I think I'm over M, not with the type of closure I needed, but simply because of circumstance. We've not talked really in a long time, so it doesn't look like being friends is going to be achievable. I'm scared I'm going to

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1124276668908633602005-08-17T07:01:00.000-04:002005-08-17T07:04:28.910-04:00

Well, I'm still thinking about M, but definately moving on. I don't know how I allow myself to get like this, all strung up and strung out over a relationship. I should really try to pull my head down from the clouds and confront reality.On that note, my parents aren't doing very well. It's not as bad as it could be and I'm happy for that, but my mom and dad have each seperately been talking

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1123026975565725572005-08-02T19:48:00.000-04:002005-08-02T19:56:15.566-04:00

I plan to keep on writing in here. Although it started out being about my crazy feelings, which by the way were well and sorted out before I even started writing in here, I will keep on writing about things.Especially a follow up of my interactions with M.I haven't talked to him since that day when I sorted myself out properly last week. We made plans to get together, although who knows if and

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1122462661062256362005-07-27T06:59:00.000-04:002005-07-27T07:11:01.070-04:00

So much has happened and I hope I can adequately explain it. Maybe in a couple posts. But I'll begin.On Monday, I was feeling really really low. The lowest that I had ever been. Like I mentioned here before, I knew I had to talk to him, although I didn't know what to say.So I emailed him.I said how he's been in my dreams, mostly nightmares, and how I know I need to talk but I don't know what I

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1122289526294278372005-07-25T06:58:00.000-04:002005-07-25T07:05:26.306-04:00

He appears in my dreams. Every night, it seems like. And they're not only dreams, but nightmares.In one of the nightmares I had this past weekend, we were still together and he took me to his friends' engagement party. We wisfully smiled at each other as we saw the happy couples (there were 3 other couples getting engaged!) and somehow things went to shit. He was drinking with his brother and got

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1122125356554150022005-07-23T09:17:00.000-04:002005-07-23T09:29:16.560-04:00

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have. But I feel a lot better about things. It wasn't "closure" as such, we didn't talk about us or why we broke up or anything like that (which is what I wanted to talk about!), but it was good to talk to him.He thought I was avoiding him, which I was, but I didn't want to admit that, as it's pretty immature. We asked each other about weekend plans and I told him how I

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1121944402761542372005-07-21T07:08:00.000-04:002005-07-21T07:13:22.766-04:00

I know I need to talk to him.. this becomes clearer and clearer everyday. I'm not brave enough to initiate something though, so it's unfortunate that I have to wait for him. I'm avoiding him online and he doesn't live in my city, so it's been quite simple to not see him.I think it's a matter of closure for me. I need to get it over and done with.I feel these days that I'm leading 2 lives: there

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1121858017660534962005-07-20T07:06:00.000-04:002005-09-12T22:47:10.896-04:00

I'm having lots of crazy dreams. It's scary because it seems so real.In last night's dream, M was being soo mean to me. For some reason we had gone out or he was at my house and had brought the ex. Now she was being very sympathetic to me but he was just being a fucking loser. Acting like a child, really. Going out of his way to say mean things to me and purposely hurt me.In real life, I haven't

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1121385024139644392005-07-14T19:24:00.000-04:002005-09-12T22:39:00.470-04:00

The past few days I've been remembering all the bad things he did to me. I guess it's helping me get over him if I think of his bad qualities.I also had a bad dream the other night. In it, M. wanted to meet me at this club to hang out, talk, have some drinks. So I met him, and he's got the new girlfriend with him.In the dream, she's short, but in a cute way, and she's skinny. She just comes off

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1121253008370298352005-07-13T07:02:00.000-04:002005-07-13T07:10:08.373-04:00

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments, I really do appreciate them. As for being a good writer, I do write a lot, I have an excellent post-secondary education, and I'm just writing exactly how I talk, how I feel. I hope that resonates with some people.As for some of the other comments, I know I am being completely and totally selfish and self-centred here, discussing my problems when

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com272tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1121006156255253542005-07-10T10:13:00.000-04:002005-09-12T22:42:20.016-04:00

I am finding it quite amazing that I've been able to live my days without thinking about M 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's quite extraordinary! Maybe it means I'm getting over him.These days I find myself thinking about sex a lot.. see that's one thing a serious relationship is good for, meaningful sex. It's funny because I lost my virginity in a one night stand at age 17. In some ways, I do

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1120879391802756102005-07-08T23:13:00.000-04:002005-09-12T22:46:31.126-04:00

The break up was easy and simple. Just like a sharp knife slicing through your heart. At first nothing really registers and everything is frozen as it is. Then the blood pours out.Anyways, things weren't good for about a month or so. We were on the break. We were online and I knew he had something to say to me. So I told him that he should let me know. I thought it was going to be something

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1120262478643239322005-07-01T19:39:00.000-04:002005-09-12T22:45:20.986-04:00

I heard Alanis Morisette's "Head Over Feet" on the radio today and it made me cry. That's my story, with a boy we will call M.The story:We met online, on some stupid dating type site... I have no idea why I was on there in the first place, but whatever, he saw me, liked me, and we began talking. This was not an uncommon thing; stupid as I am, I talked to quite a few guys from those sites...

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1120179950744003652005-07-01T00:59:00.000-04:002005-06-30T21:05:50.746-04:00

So here are the facts:- My dad used to hit me when I was little- I don't believe in religion anymore- I love being the centre of attention- I love affection- I had an eating disorder in high school and it never really went away- I don't connect well with other girls, most of my friends are guys- I hate eating- I don't want to be rich- I am 20-something and working at the moment, but will return

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14097200.post-1120179472333684592005-06-30T23:48:00.000-04:002005-06-30T20:57:52.336-04:00

Hi. My name is Julie. It's not my real name, but an appropriate alias. Maybe you've seen "Vanilla Sky", and are wondering what's going on here.I know the quote is over-used and over-quoted, however it's quite appropriate for me. You see, I'm a sad girl. I'm never good enough for anyone. My family picks on me. My boyfriend broke up with me. Since summer started I've lived in 4 different places. My

Saddest Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05917325349753895456noreply@blogger.com2